Posted by: Jess | May 21, 2011

Living on the edge of mount doom!


The past couple of days the weather has been quite gloomy. Thick dark rain clouds hang around the mountain range like a grey mythical cat waiting to crawl from its perch and descend on its prey. Then towards the later afternoon the storm clouds stretch from the mountains over the town and it’s dwellers bring with it rain, thunder and lightning. Any kind of moisture in this high desert mountainous land is a blessing right? Well due to the weather and cold temperatures my dreams have been rather dark and enjoyable.

Take last night’s dream as an example. I was on a trip with this guy (Most likely my boyfriend in the dream. I don’t know him in reality.) and we had flown to a town for a huge party-like event. I was getting ready in the hotel bathroom when a mutual friend came over to talk before going to the party. I was too busy with the massive job of trying to make my hair look presentable so my boyfriend and our friend were talking out in the bedroom area. By the time I had finished with my toil they had finished their conversation so our friend headed back to her room to change her earings or shoes or something. As she was leaving I noticed the new expensive trampish dress she was wearing. Something she got at a trendy French boutique I bet, I thought to myself. We were about to leave the room and head down to the elevator when my man notices that our friend had left her clutch purse on the bed. He offered to take it back to her at her room and then went left down the hall as I went right toward the elevator. I then stopped and turned around to watch him walk down the hall. I knew right then and there that he would leave me for her. disappointed in my new realization I entered the elevator alone. The party was a huge banquet with a gourmet buffet. I stayed and visited a while and then wondered back to my room. On my from the elevator to my door I heard a women crying out “NO! NO! STOP!”. I found the door from where the screaming was coming from and kicked it off its hinges. Inside I found a man trying to rape the women that was screaming. I felt myself churning with anger and lunged at the man. Pinning him to the floor I found a glass ashtray and started beating it against the man’s head while screaming, “NO MEANS NO!!” Once he had stop struggling and thrashing about I left him on the floor whimpering and bloody. I then turned my attentions to the shaken women. I helped her gather her things and get dressed and accompanied her to the lobby where she got in a taxi headed for the airport.

The other dream was not much better. I was in a huge mall and when ever I got in a line for something, whether it was a ride or a smoothy there would be a group of guys in front of me. Once they noticed me they would start calling me names and teasing me. Usually I would ignore them or walk away, but once as I was leaving I said something under my breath and one of the baboons heard me. Takeing it as a challenge he then decided to have the jackass clan follow me around tormenting me every where I went. I started to run in fear of what else they would do. I found myself in the parking lot alone with only one rust colored hatch-back. I went over to find a little old woman sitting inside. As the sun was setting and the temperature growing colder I asked the woman if I could sit with her inside and try to figure out what to do. We sat there in silence with only the sight of my breath fogging up the glass when suddenly I giant wolf appeared and was trying to get to the old woman sitting across from me. Panicky I tried to push the wolf’s muzzle back of the side window. Then I woke up.

So I can’t explain why my dreams have turned into a clash of frustration, fear, doubt, anxiousness, sadness, and loneliness. My only suspicion is the dark ominous weather is affecting me more profoundly than I realize. I only hope the wather will improve and with it my state of mind.

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